The Leader’s Path

I never knew what it meant to live “in community" until I discovered the Miccosukee Land Co-Op (MLC) just outside of Tallahassee. MLC was founded in 1973 as part of the back-to-the-land movement and most of the original members still live there. The founders’ children and grandchildren also reside among us. The common theme practiced by all residents is unity and togetherness. All offer aide when needed and foster love and laughter quite often.  

Getting to know my neighbors well also meant learning about their unresolved conflicts. Things came to a head three years ago when a conflict between two neighbors bled out into the community. Old hurts were triggered; people took sides and gossiped and created greater harm. 

At that time, I was an attorney studying to be a mediator. I wanted to aid my community, but mediation wasn’t the answer. There was a huge emotional component to the issues and to the harmful aftermath. I found the answer in restorative justice and Non Violent Communication (NVC) and they changed the course of my life.  

A dear friend told me about restorative justice and invited me to a workshop our city was hosting. There I learned that restorative justice is motivated by repairing harm and having the event’s impact deeply heard by all parties. Shortly after that I attended a NVC workshop taught by Dr. Cindy Bigbie. I learned about human needs, observations, and objectivity; about trading evaluations and judgments for clear observations. NVC changed how I operate in this world by helping me remain in connection even during conflict. And by helping me connect to the humanity in other people. 

My continuing journey led me to The River Phoenix Center for Peacebuilding in Gainesville and the Georgia Conflict Center. I learned how to facilitate restorative justice circles and help build a restorative community.  

I learned about the National Association of Community and Restorative Justice (NACRJ) conference and signed up at once. We learned about community justice circles, the power of being heard, and how healing is possible even in murder cases.  

I met so many Floridians who were bringing this healing work to schools, prisons, the court system, and communities and I was overjoyed to learn that such things were happening in my state! It gave me hope to see so many helping people resolve crime and conflict in a way that repaired harm and rebuilt relationships.  

I knew we had to create a statewide association for facilitators, academics, and advocates. Once I began communicating this vision, powerful help quickly arrived: Molly Rowan Leach (Restorative Justice on the Rise), Dan Kahn (The Peace Alliance), Heart Phoenix, and Jeffrey Weisberg (River Phoenix Center for Peacebuilding) all provided encouragement and guidance. Dr. Cindy Bigbie and Julya Denholm helped and continue to help me grow my NVC muscles. Michael Gilbert, Executive Director for the NACRJ, guided us in our efforts to connect statewide. And just like that, it was launched: the Florida Restorative Justice Association (FRJA), an association for restorative justice facilitators, academics, and advocates.  

We highlight our member’s stories and accomplishments on our website and promote their upcoming events. We speak quarterly, if not more frequently, about what we’re doing, how we can support each other, and our vision of the future of restorative justice in Florida. We have members who are restorative justice pioneers and leaders with over 20 years of experience in the field. When schools reach out to us I can now connect them with restorative justice trainers and facilitators in their area. We’re hosting a legislative forum next year. We are working on a certification program for facilitators in order to maintain a high level of integrity. Dr. Bigbie is training our Florida Supreme Court Justices and staff on restorative justice and restorative practices. We are painting a beautiful picture of the state of restorative justice work in Florida; one that becomes more complete with each new member.  

And my community? Three years after the event that ripped the fabric of our community I facilitated a restorative circle between the parties. I witnessed them deeply hear each other. And their healing led to healing the community. We created a Conflict Resolution Team and help neighbors talk about their feelings and needs. We’re working through our past and present hurts in a way that allows us to stay in connection. Living in community takes effort. Restorative justice and NVC provide ways to repair old and new harms while staying in connection. I thank the universe for my NVC education and know these practices can truly change the world.